Scott's MD-PhD Adventure

Friday, May 25, 2007

Mazel Tov

So, Mike is in Chicago for summer. And since we don't want him getting fat (ha!), he needs a gym to be workin' on his fitness.
I discovered my school gym indeed offers domestic partner membership at faculty/staff rates. Aka $90 for the summer. However, you need a ton of proof if you do not have a Cook County Domestic Partner card (Seriously? We're 26. "Irrevocable living trust"?). After some investigation, we realized obtaining our Cook County DP cards would be the path of least resistance. So this morning, we headed down...

Walking in, we were greeted by a line of 0 people. Fortunately, the "Domestic Partner Application - $30" sign was at a separate but equal counter. We were helped by Toni, who had no name tag but whose name was mentioned later.

Us: Hi, we'd like to register.
Toni: Ok, I'm gon' need your drivers licenses. *begins clicking & typing in computer*
Toni: This is my first one!

During this time we begin noticing a few other county employees. An old white lady wearing one of those large brown poncho/pashmina/blanket/rug things over her outfit. She's sitting at a desk on the phone.

Toni: *pauses her singing along to gospel radio station and turns around to black man* Hey! How do I know which one is first?!?
Man: Give them the form and let them pick.
Toni: Ok, you need to fill dis out.

From the back door, an overweight white woman emerges in acid washed jean shorts, a red and white thin striped t-shirt, and light blue crocs.

Toni: *to man* Am I entering their names right?
Man: *comes over to look* No, you gotta put the middle name over here.
Toni: Lord have mercy! Jesus help me! I'm so sorry!
Us: No problem. :)
Man: You have to get their form notarized.
Toni: My boss will be back in a minute.

Toni returns to her desk, while singing the Mary J song on the radio. Latino straight couple enters, walks to real marriage counter. They talk to other employee for a few, then realize they need to come back later.

Toni: *enters older black woman* Shirley! Can you notarize this! And where is the paper [template to print their certificates on]?
Shirley: It's up there. *looks at form* Toni, you need to white out their name. If the drivers license has the full name, they gotta print their full name.
Toni: Oh I'm sorry.

We fill out our names again. Toni prints our certificates.

Us: Um, this isn't correct. You have our name here as middle first last.
Toni: Really? Can I see your drivers licenses again?
Us: Sure.
Toni: *looks carefully and compares* Oh lord Jesus! *to man* Why'd you tell me wrong?
Me: He did you wrong!
Shirley: Toni, that's why there is an "L" "F" and "M"
Toni: Shirley! How do I change it?
Shirley: You gotta type a C!
Toni: *types, adds another paper, tries to print* Shirley! It won't print!
Shirley: You gotta type a Y for Yes I want another copy.

The second copy prints. Mike's name is fixed. Mine is still incorrect.

Toni: Oh lord! This is crazy! I'm so sorry.
Us: No problem. *We grab the original incorrect one for laughs later*

Toni begins printing our third one, except, someone else in the office clicks print, so their stupid other thing comes out on our template, and our correct one comes out on a plain paper.

Toni: Jesus! Hold on!

While Toni finishes messing with the printer, the old woman in her brown poncho gets up, and heads over to us. She looks at us, looks at the screen, probably the names, and says
Old woman: this two Mazel Tovs?
Us: Why yes it is.
Old woman: Congratulations! I already had one this week!
Us: Thank you!
Old woman: Mazel Tov!

Toni prints our form correctly, brings it to the cashier, and apologizes 5 more times before we tell each other to have a good weekend.
Btw, we are #1061 since Oct. 1, 2003

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

State of Confusion

Our dept secretary, Dianah Jones-James is retiring, after 30 years. Bob has worked here for at least 15 years.

Bob: She didn't always go by her hyphenated last name. That's more recent.
Leslie: Yeah, I remember her starting to go by that.
Bob: Well in the old days, every time a flier was put up with just Dianah Jones, someone would write "In" next to hit.
Me: Haha that's awesome!
Lili: hahaha
Me: Indiana Jones!
Lili: hahaha
Me: You know why that is funny, right Lili?
Lili: Indiana...I know that it is state?


Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Lili: This morning I was walking by the animal facility. These men, as I walked by, they shout "hey sweetie"
Bob: That's like construction workers. They whistle at a pretty lady
Lili: Well, it was uncomfortable
Me: Were they white?
Lili: No, they were african-american
Me: Ah, ok
Lili: I know that is bad behavior! My husband...he does not even call me sweetie!


Thursday, May 17, 2007

Perishable Package

Our dept secretary is not exactly the brightest crayon in the box. She likes to call and tell us to come down and pick up our package, which is always "perishable" - I'm not sure she knows what that means.

She also has the responsibility of emailing the entire department when we have a seminar, usually with the flier attached.

Date: May 17, 2007 10:02:24 AM CDT
Subject: Seminar for Dr. G
Graduate student will have lunch with Dr. G on Tuesday from 12:00 - 1:00 in room 8175 COMRB.

Date: May 17, 2007 10:22:55 AM CDT
Subject: REVISED seminar notice for Dr. G
The date for Dr. G is wrong instead of Tuesday, May 21st it's (Monday May 21st).

Date: May 17, 2007 10:39:20 AM CDT
Subject: REVISED
Sorry the time and place is wrong instead of 11 - 12 in room 8175 it is (12:30 - 1:30 in room 1020 COMRB).

Anyone know when my seminar/lunch is?

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Biking with Lili

Lili asked me sometime last week about getting a bike. I suggested Village Cycle Center since they were very helpful for me. I also told her a few basics. Today...

Lili: Oh! I got the bike!
Me: Really?
Lili: Yes. I went to the place that you said. The man...that is Bill...he measured me. He said I need 15 inches. And then I tried 'nother bike, and I need 38 cm.
Me: Ok. Well, that's exciting. What kind did you get?
Lili: It is not the mountain
Me: Did you get a hybrid or a road?
Lili: Not the hybrid!
Me: How is the handle bar?
Lili: It is all flat.
Me: I think that's a hybrid.
Lili: Ok.
Me: When did you get it?
Lili: I went on friday night. And I paid. I pick up Saturday morning.
Me: You liked it?
Lili: Yes! I rode on the lake! It is very efficient!
Me: You got the helmet and everything too?
Lili: Yes, but I didn't get...I don't know what it's goes on back?
Me: Kickstand?
Lili: No, it goes above the wheel?
Me: Basket?
Lili: Yes! It seems otherwise, I need the bag. I do not want to always need the bag.
Me: Good idea. You're happy with what you paid?
Lili: Mm hmm. Before friday, I did not know the bikes had different prices! They had the bikes for $2000! My bike does not cost that much.
Me: Yeah, those are usually carbon or much lighter frames.
Lili: My bike is very light!
Me: Ok.