A Lutheran, A Mormon, A ?, and An Athiest walk into a basketball game...
Yesterday I went to my first, and presumably last Bulls game. B was given 4 tickets from the big big boss, which was apparently preceded byBoss
: Do you like sports? Specifically basketball?
B: *attempts politically correct answer* Not as much as most people but I wouldn't mind seeing what they are about and learningBoss
: Do you know player x?
: Do you know player y?
: Do you know Michael Jordan?
B: Yes! We are from the same state!
So gay lawyer B invites his 2 gay science gradstudent friends to the game. Gay Mormon brings 3rd gay science gradstudent, of unknown religion.
And now, my thoughts...
Our tickets were $75 each. Yes, the cost for the 4 of us to see this game was $300. And we were on the 2nd level - there were people with better, more expensive seats below! I can't believe people pay that much money for just 1 game. A hot dog was $5 and a burger was $11, and people were definitely indulging.
Other than the people I was there with, I don't think there was any chance I would know a single person at this game. It's a strange feeling knowing that there is an entire population of people with whom I willingly do not intersect. It's one thing to see them get off at Addison and walk towards Wrigley Field. Another to be there at a Chicago Sporting Event.
The court seemed really small. It looks much more impressive on television. Oh, and I recognized a Bulls player, Mr. Noah
, from University of Florida fame! I was quite proud of myself.
Even with the cost of the ticket, you're essentially paying to be advertised to for 2.5 hours. Sure, there's a basketball game going on, but the players are only doing stuff for 48 minutes. So between each level of seats, there is a layer of LED screens (3 layers total) with ads running and changing throughout, like when they all said BudLight during the "BudLight halftime show sponsored by BudLight." Lots and lots of McDonald's advertising. The tweens who throw tiny basketballs into the crowd or shoot rolled up McDonald's tshirts (probably XL) into the crowd, they were wearing McD's bball jerseys. If the Bulls got over 100 points, every ticket holder gets a free big mac (claim within 48 hours), so there was a lot of excitement when the last free throw point was scored. I was also appalled by some TVscreen game where, people had obtained a card from Dunkin' Donuts with a # (just a basic 1 or 2 or 3), and then during a gamebreak, a CGI race occurred between a donut, a cup of coffee, and something else (a bagel? I don't remember). This Dunkin' Donuts race between Dunkin' Donuts labelled products going around a track 3 times was CHEERED ON by people hoping that i.e. Coffee (lane 2) would win, so that they could bring their card with the winning # and get a free coffee&donut on Monday. I guess if you are trained to cheer on the Bulls at home from your TV, cheering on a donut in lane 1 isn't that much different.
People like to be on television. A lot. During every time out or other assorted breaks, songs ranging from "Y.M.C.A." to "Everybody Dance Now" would come on, and the camera would cut to someone dancing for 1-5 seconds. 90% of the time this was met by a face conveying "OHMYGOD I'm on TV!" and a dance showoff/freakout from the adult and/or child for the camera. There was the occassional "oh shit" and hiding head in hands. The teenage chongas
and associated stereotypes definitely enjoyed the boob-shaking attention. One cameraman specially recorded people eating, and then would play "guy eats his hotdog" at 4x speed, and we'd all laugh at the fatguy eating.
I think the entire experience is designed for people with ADD. Every second is filled. Time out? Great! Cheerleaders perform on court while someone in the crowd throws a ball at you while you watch the people on TV while the ads flash while you're dancing to the music while eating your hotdog. It's so incredibly excessive. But I guess it's exciting if instead of watching commercials you can watch "Swingin' Seniors" - 20 or so grandparents perform a dance routine to "Hot In Herre"
The entire thing was what I imagine churches to be like. The screens and sounds told you what to do. If it says to chant DE-FENSE, you chant along. If it says to boo and make noise so the other team misses the shot, you make noise. My favorite was a company-sponsored "get loud! louder!" thing on the screen, complete with a decibel-meter. Except, the meter didn't actually measure noise, it just assumed how loud you would get (it happened 3 times, at the exact same rate of noise increase, and stayed around 7.8 units as it faded from the screen and people stopped when it was over). I fundamentally do not understand authoritative unquestioned groupthink mentality. (To be fair, I wouldn't clap along at a Madonna concert just because she told me to)
The basketball players, imo, were not hot. We all agreed one guy with a Polish last name was attractive, although if he was a reasonable height, maybe not. The cheerleaders had, imo, smaller breasts than I expected. I assumed it would be an implantpalooza, but from my view, not so much. It didn't seem like anyone was paying attention to them either, but the other gays assured me that straight men were watching. I wondered, do they have cheerleaders at WNBA games? I suppose the lesbians are already watching the players, so to additionally watch cheerleaders would be excessive. Unless there are male ones, which I highly doubt.
Having said all that, it was my first experience at a sporting event in a major city, and I was impressed to go to a stadium that was accessible by public transportation. I suppose college football stadium was walkable, but I never went to that. Most other sports stadiums I've been to involve driving and parking and walking and herding. This wasn't so bad, relatively. I've also never been to a major soccer
game, but I suppose I'm supposed to like them.
After the game I went to a school social, and had people yell at me when I said I had just come from a Bulls game and didn't understand it. "You went to the game! I'm so jealous! Those are so fun! If it was only like $20 I would go, but I can't spend $75 even to have a good time! You are so lucky!"