My Cousin Vinny Patel

Hilarious NPR story about how Bollywood just remakes all American movies, and there will be a Bollywood version of My Cousin Vinny, not to be confused with the being-written American musical version of My Cousin Vinny!

Teach Me

Lili: Did I tell you, a long time ago, a man called at my apartment. He called and said he wanted learn chinese. He want to meet at corner of michigan and something. I tell him - sounds ridiculous - my husband will not like that! Then he never called again. I guess they probably got my name from phone book. My name sounds chinese name.

Bob: How are you listed in phone book?

Lili: I don't know...I don't have phone book.
Lili: If I was at home and the phone sounds like this, I will be really scary.

Incompetence

It's fall registration time! And what does that mean? Lifting the tri-annual hold on my record that prevents me from registering for department research credits since I'm forever a "medical student" in the system.

Mia, the grad student coordinator from a year ago, got a promotion to a different deparment. She successfully lifted my hold last fall and spring. She trained Alissa how to do it for summer registration, but Alissa has since left. There is no one currently in the office handling student registration issues. I try to figure out what's going on, which inevitably involves Roberta, the mdphd coordinator.


At 12:22 PM 8/21/2007, you wrote:
Hi George,
Is there a new Alissa yet? Because I am MD/PhD someone always has to
adjust my record in the system so that I can register for research
credit. I'm not sure who to ask.
Thanks!
Scott


From: George
Date: August 21, 2007 4:51:12 PM CDT

SCOTT, ASK SUSAN. GEORGE.


To: Susan
Date: August 21, 2007 5:38:44 PM CDT

Hi Susan...
Scott


At 11:24 AM 8/22/2007, Susan wrote:
Roberta,
Do you know the answer to Scott's question below?
Susan


From: Roberta
Date: August 22, 2007 11:57:45 AM CDT
To: Susan
CC: Scott

Susan:
What Scott means is: has your department hired someone, in place of Melissa, to handle the graduate student registrations, appointments, etc. Only you can answer that. He wants to know to whom he should address questions and submit information that formerly would have gone to Melissa (or Mia before her).
Regards, Roberta


So I go down and talk to Susan. She's annoyed at Roberta for not understanding what she meant. She had already asked the DGS, who told her to email Roberta. Susan calls Mia, the old student coordinator. Mia tells her which screen in the system to go to (SZACRP or something like that), except Susan, not primarily working with students, does not have access to this screen. Mia tells her to ask George, who is out to lunch...
Later I get these emails:


At 12:02 PM 8/22/2007, Susan wrote:
Roberta,
No, we have not hired anyone yet to replace Alissa. That is why I am asking you, as [the DGS] suggested that you might know. I know who Scott is. I only need help with some issues that no one in the department know. Do you know how to adjust a record in the system?
Susan


From: Roberta
Date: August 22, 2007 12:44:41 PM CDT
To: Susan
Cc: Me

Susan--Sorry. I misunderstood your question to me. When you asked about the answer to Scott's question, I though your meant "has your department hired someone, etc." As for adjusting his record in the system, I do not have access to Banner for purposes of inputting graduate student appointments or data. (That's why I always have to send messages to the appropriate people in each department every semester asking them to enter the appointments and to fix other problems).

However, in the case of Scott's present query, if I understand what his problem is correctly (he's not coded as a graduate student and thus is unable to reigster to GC courses),. this is a bigger problem affecting many students about which I've contacted [the Registrar], yesterday. Hopefully, she is right now working on the solution, namely manually going into each MD/PhD student's record, one by one, to make sure that they are classified as Medicine for their Primary affiliation and the department in which they are pursuing their PhD as their Secondary affiliation (thus enabling them to register for GC courses).

For a fast, emergency fix, Mia would know how to change a record and would no doubt be willing to walk someone through it.

I wish I could do more.
Roberta

Goldie Rain

My grandmother discusses the rain with my mother. And gestures.

Goldie Fields Phone

My grandmother realizes Macy's is Marshall Fields. Then, her ear turns the phone off somehow.

Goldie Pussycat

My mother calls and my grandmother thinks she sounds funny on the phone.

Goldie Ceiling

My grandmother asks about my ceiling.

Goldie Twain

My grandmother tells me how her son/my uncle couldn't say the letter R very well.

Goldie Friends (Again)

My grandmother discusses my friends, again. (Yes, this is a completely different day).

Goldie Filipino

My grandmother discusses her Jewish chiropractor and his Filipino wife, and teaching me Jewish.

Goldie Turnip Frog

My grandmother, after discussing abortions, explains how to get one with a turnip. Oh, and how someone from the islands didn't like frogs.

Goldie Twin

My grandmother discusses an aunt who had a "twin inside of her" (aka teratoma).

Goldie Richard Teeth

My grandmother tells a story about her son/my uncle who had an overbite and what happened when she brought him to the barbershop.

Goldie Mixture

My grandmother discusses my friend Joe, half-mexican and half-korean, and my friends. again.

Goldie Amtrak experience

My grandmother discusses her horrible Amtrak experience, the conductor, and then woman who sat next to her who had Parkinson's disease. Then she talks about teaching everyone to use the toilet on the train.

Goldie Proselytizing Gift Certificate

My grandmother explains how Jehovah's witnesses try to convert her, but jews don't convert people.



My grandmother discusses the gift certificate my mother got for her birthday, and what she did with it.

Goldie Friends Earrings

My grandmother discusses meeting my friends, including Ina, and how I told her to tell stories. She gets so excited...she forgets she's holding the phone! Then she talks about Lexie and Andrew and goes off into a tangent about earrings.

Goldie Gay Straight Or Taken

Highlights of when I watch Gay Straight Or Taken with my grandmother, and she talks along with it.

Goldie Laundry Boobs

My grandmother starts telling a story about her Chinese laundryman, and ends up talking about boobs, even though it's risque.

Goldie Names

My grandmother explains her name, and how even though it's odd, it's better than what those crazy people are using for names these days!

Goldie Apartment

My grandmother tells my mother how the apartment is colorful, clean, and gorgeous (even the coffeemaker!) how I am thin and younglooking!

Goldie Amtrak ticket

My mother calls Goldie, but it doesn't sound like her. Then she explains buying her new $34 ticket, but she's confused as to how much it was. (Her ticket was sent to the wrong place, so she has to get that refunded and get a new one instead.)

Goldie Shoes Wife

My grandmother tells everyone about my first pair of shoes! HYSTERICAL! Then she tells the story of when I was three and how I spoke to the old people.

Goldie Black Beauty Shop

My grandmother explains her visit to a black beauty shop where someone did her hair like a black woman, even though she was worried her hair wasn't the right kind of hair.

Goldie HongKong

My grandmother explains how you very seldom see chinese people who are fat, but tells Ina a funny story about women in Hong Kong

Goldie tea heart surgeon watermelon

Goldie wants an afterdinner beverage. Then she talks about her heart surgeon, and how much she loves free recovery. She then complains about not being thin and describes her other east indian doctor. Lastly, she gets to eat a yellow watermelon.

Goldie's cyst, Goldie's food

Goldie discusses her doctor, asking if she does a lot of "this with her hand" and then explains how her doctor treats her ganglion cyst.



Goldie instructs not to throw out her leftover salad. Then compliments Mike on his cooking specially for her, says how she's not skinny, and talks about her high cholesterol

Goldie on dates

My grandmother tells me about...her dates! Goldie explains how one of her recent dates tries to impress her at a chinese restaurant, while friends ask about it. Then she tells about her other date, the cheap dancers. Followed by her other date, the chiropractor! She has so many one-liners!

Thank you for being a friend

OMG

Bluff the Listener this week from WaitWait was about the Golden Girls. I won't give away the answer, but damn!

Not Good

Discussing someone in the department with Lili...

So the other thing is... he is so skinny! I see him in the lunchroom...and he just eats a bread and a glass of water. And I think, the nutrition, is not good. I see him and he walks soooooo slow! I wonder if that's because he didn't get enough energy from the food? HEEHEEHEE