Rest of Day: I've got some news for you!

We go walk around downtown, get an ink cartridge refill, and lunch.

Walking back...
Dad: I got news for ya. It's more muggy now than it was this morning.
Us: How is that news?
Dad: It's humid!
Us: That's not news.
Dad: Val! It's a lot more humid here than it is in Arizona. Even than it was this morning.
Us: Um, ok.

We return and install the printer cartridge
Mom: Jer, now we will be able to print our boarding passes
Dad: Good! I like to get my seat.
Mike: Don't you like the back?
Dad: Yeah
Me: And the window?
Dad: Yeah
Us: Those are not desirable. Nobody wants to sit there. You have no reason to be in the A group and board early.
Dad: I like to sit there.
Me: So, why do you like the back?
Dad: I'm comfortable there!
Me: But why do you like it? How is it comfortable?
Dad: I like the back. I just like...Do you like the front?
Me: Yeah
Dad: Why do you like the front! Ha!
Me: So I can get off first. But...that doesn't answer why you like the back.
Dad: Let's just say...I know two pilots who used to fly for America West. And they said, if you have to land without wheels, or do a crash landing, it is better to be in the back of the plane.
Me: So it has nothing to do with your comfort?
Dad: It's comfortable back there!
Me: What? The chances of that are so small. Why don't you just sit in an exit row so you can get out first?
Dad: A what?
Mom: Jer, the row where you have to help people get out.
Dad: I don't want that! It's too squished!
Me: Just saying. It's silly to alter behavior from something with a very poor chance.

Dad looks at a random Pride magazine we have lying around.
Dad: You ever been to Hamburger Mary's?
Me: Unfortunately
Dad: Is it any good?
Me: You don't want to go there
Dad: Are their burgers good?
Me: Nobody goes there for the burgers. Do you know what you're looking at?
Dad: Yes!
Me: It's just a hangout place that happens to serve food.
Dad: I should ask Danny if he's ever been to Midnight Mary's!

Meanwhile, my dad's had knee problems, which are relatively more believeable than most of his psychosomatic bodily illusions. We would expect that walking around in a city is a bit much for anyone used to the Sun City Grand lifestyle – but he needed to make a production of placing ice on his joints. This required 3 towels and a few ice cubes.
Dad: Val! I got an idea! Make me a can!
Mom: Well, we can do that for tomorrow. Scott, do you have, like, an empty soup can? So we can fill it with water and put it in the freezer. Then it's ice for Dad's knee, he likes to do that…
Dad: It gets done faster!
Me: No, you know we just took care of all the recycling yesterday.
Dad: Let's just buy a can of soup and throw it away! Use the can!

He returns to his current ice-bag-and-towel situation. Pat. Adjust. Pat. Grunt. The TV is on.
Dad: Can you imagine wearing one of those black burqas all day!? In the heat?! A black burqa! 103!
Me: Ha!
Dad: Why is that funny?
Me: It's funny that you're commenting on it and imagining it.
Dad: It's hot!

Post-ice, we're off to the Spertus Jewish Museum. He's ok looking at maps and stuff, although he usually gives up after about 10 minutes and sits. This time he looked out the window.
Dad: Do you have an aquarium?
Me: Yes, that's it over there.
Dad: I love to look at the fishes!

We go to the library section, where he mostly entertains himself with "The Encyclopedia of Jews in Sports" My mother reads like Jewish Woman or some magazine.
Dad: Val! They have a Jewish bullfighter!
Mom: Have you ever heard of Amy Winehouse?
Me: Yes
Mom: Did you know she's Jewish?
Me: No surprise
Mom: Have you heard her sing?
Me: Ha. Of course
Mom: Jer, have you heard of Amy Winehouse?
Dad: She's a screwball!

Upon finishing, we go outside to wait for Mike who did not come to the museum. Complicated plans involved Mike biking to get them a CTA visitor pass and bring it to us, biking to the restaurant while we bussed, and biking home post-restaurant to get wine & refrigerated dessert to eat out at Millenium Park free concert.
Dad: So Mike is gonna meet us here?
Me (annoyed already, by the blatantly obviousness): Yes
Dad: And then we're going to the restaurant?
Me: Yes
Dad: And we're taking a bus or a train?
Me: It doesn't matter, but a bus.
Dad: How is Mike getting here?
Me: It doesn't matter!
Dad: He said he was gonna bike. Is he gonna bike?
Me: Ohmygod! Stop!
Dad: What? It's a simple question! I just asked if he's riding his bike.
Me: I know, it doesn't matter.
Mom: Scott, your dad just asked a basic question! Geez!
Me: It's not the quality, it's the quantity, please just ask one of every four questions that pops into your head.
Dad (to mom): *laughing* He's crazy!
Mom: *laughing* Scott, you're hard to talk to.
*girl with many tattoos walks by*
Dad: Look at her! I wonder if she came from a tattoo farm?

We eventually get on the bus to dinner (it's 5:00). He comments every so often.
Dad: This is an amazing city!
Dad: So many people!
Dad: Val, I've seen more people today than I've seen all year!

We get to the restaurant and are seated.
Dad: This is the same table we sat at last year!
Us: Ok.
I order the gyros.
Dad: That's not what you got last year.
Me: Ok. I know.
Dad: What'd you get last year?
Me: Maybe the Pastitsio
Dad: What's that?
Me: A macaroni thing.
Dad: But you got those jeye-roes 2 years ago! We sat over there by the fireplace!
Us: Ok.
Dad: See! I remember!

We take the bus back to Millenium Park. They immediately decide it's too loud and go sit in the back on a bench, where the speakers are hanging right over them and it's basically just as loud. They decide it's not because they're at the back. We drink a lot of wine and hang with friends. After I bus & walk home with them while Mike bikes. We walk by the Hilton Chicago valet driveway thing...
Dad: Look at the cars in here! Val! 60! 75! 30! So much money in there!

Back at home, we watch the new Project Runway.
Dad: You like this?
Me: You like wrestling?
Dad: I like South Park better than either one.

They check their email and go to bed. I spend 2 hours working on all this. :P