Scott's MD-PhD Adventure

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Watch This. Parents: Day3

Don't Call Me 5! I'm 4!


Dad: Scott! I want to go try out my shoes indoors somewhere. Where can I go?
Me: You can go down to the parking garage. Take the elevator to P.
Dad: B?
Me: P. For parking garage. There are all numbers and one letter.
Dad: And that's warm?
Me: If you mean, is it indoors, the answer is yes.
Dad: Ok, I have the keys. I'll be back.
5 minutes later, a knock at the door.
Dad: Why did you tell me wrong! The garage wasn't indoors.
Me: *sigh* where did you go?
Dad: I walked by the laundry!
Me: That's one, not P.
Dad: That's where the elevator went!
Me: Stop blaming other people and other things. You didn't go to P. And why didn't you just come in?
Dad: I couldn't get the keys to work.
Me: Ok
Dad: Why didn't the elevator work?!? I had to come up the stairs!
Me: You mean, 'Scott, can you show me how to use the elevator?'
Dad: Val! I gotta go down again and try these shoes. What should I do if I can't get back up?
Mom: Jer, why don't you take the cell phone and call us.
Dad: Ok, Val, gimme a pen and paper. Scott what's your home #
Me: Aren't you taking the cell?
Dad: Yes
Me: Isn't my cell phone programmed in there?
Dad: Just gimme the #
Mom: Scott, we don't know how to do that
Me: Ok, well gimme the phone and I'll do it
Dad: Scott just gimme the #! I have to go!
Me: You are not in a rush. I'm not giving you the number.
Dad: Val! Tell him to give me the #!
Mom: Scott just give him the # so he can write it down if he wants to.
Me: No, he can stop acting like a 5 year old.
Dad: *throws down paper and pen* Forget it! Val! I'm leaving! If I'm not back in 15 minutes, come looking for me! I may be lost or dead!

Pick Up


My dad is still convinced he's unable to travel the 2 blocks it takes to walk to and from the train tomorrow. He was hoping Steve's parents would have a car and be able to pick them up.
Dad: Where is their place that they're staying?
Me: Why do you ask?
Dad: Where is their place Scott?
Me: I can't answer that appropriately unless I know what you are asking.
Dad: This is ridiculous!
Me: What are you really trying to ask?
Dad: I'm trying to find out if they're staying in the same place, and where it is.
Me: No it's not. You need to have mom translate for you.
Dad: Val! I want to know where they are staying.
Me: Does he want to know general information? Or is he trying to find out something else.
Mom: Well Jer, what do you want to know?
Dad: *exasperation* Where is their place!
Me: Yes, and I can answer that question better if I know why he's asking.
Mom: Why does that matter Scott?
Me: I believe he wants to know if they could pick you up tomorrow morning.
Mom: Is that what you want to know Jer?
Dad: That was my second question!
Me: Then shouldn't the question just be "are they staying close enough to pick us up?" Why are you bothering to ask me all of this other stuff when the answer means nothing to you? If I say River North, that's meaningless
Mom: He's right Jer.
Dad: How far away are they!
Me: Yes, they are staying close enough to pick you up, if they have a car.
Dad: How many minutes away?
Me: Probably 10.
Dad: They should pick us up!

CTA


We get on the brownline to go return shoes. We get separated, and my dad asks where we're getting off. I tell him Sedgwick. A few stops later, the train is full.
Dad: Scott are we there?
Me: Almost. One more stop.
Dad: *across train, over ~10 people* Val! Next stop!
Me: You didn't tell her?!?
Dad: I thought you did.
Me: I wasn't near her.
We get off the train and start walking.
Dad: Val, do you know what would you have done if you didn't get off the train with us?
Mom: I would have gotten off at the next stop, turned around, and come back on the next train to you.
Dad: No, you should have gotten off at the next stop and waited for us to come find you!
Me: Why are you discussing this? I wasn't letting either of you not get off the train.
Dad: It's important to plan ahead!

Friends


After shoe return, we take a bus to the MCA. My parents met some of my friends last night. Then we discussed them while waiting for the bus.
Mom: Who was the one with the curly hair?
Me: Yalda
Mom: She was very pretty, a very pretty face.
Me: Yes.
Dad: Does she have a boyfriend?
Me: Yes
Dad: Where's she from?
Me: California
Dad: No, where's she from!
Me: She's Iranian.
Mom: And who was the other girl, with straight hair?
Me: Irene.
Dad: She's from Iran too?
Me: No, I said Irene, not Iran.
Dad: Does she have a boyfriend?
Me: No.
Mom: She was pretty too.

Bus, Other Bus


Also while waiting for the bus
Mom: Scott, do we want a particular bus that stops here?
Me: See that sign up there? That tells you it's a bus stop. And do you see how there is only one # listed? That means only one bus stops here.
Dad: So that's the bus we want?
Me: Ugh, yes, obviously.
We wait, looking in the distance.
Dad: I see a bus! Scott, is that the bus?
Me: That is a bus, yes.
Dad: Is that the bus?
Me: No, it's not the bus.
It comes closer.
Dad: Scott, that's a bus! You were wrong!
Me: I said it was a bus. What are you talking about?
Dad: You said only one bus stops here!
Me: That bus is not stopping here. It is not a city bus. It is some other bus that happens to be driving on this street.
Dad: So where is our bus?
Me: Not here

MCA


We get to the MCA.
Dad: When are we going to dinner?
Me: What?
Dad: I need to go home before we go to dinner. I'm drenched! I'm soaked! My shirt is soaking wet!
Me: Ok, then we'll go home before we go to dinner.
My dad goes through the entire Rock&Roll in the 60s-70s exhibit in like 10 minutes. My mother goes through and says thinks like "ooh, Detroit" about the art. As I had already seen it multiple times, I kept sitting and yawning after them exhausting me all day.
Dad: Are you bored?
Me: No, I can entertain myself just fine.
Dad: You're yawning! You need sleep! Are you tired!
Me: No, I'm ok. *walks away*
Five minutes later, I see them both again.
Mom: Dad said you're bored and ready to go.
Me: What?!? I never said that! *yawns again*
Dad: Val he's yawning! You are tired!
Me: I'm ok
Dad: Why are you so tired?
Me: You are making me tired!

Cold & Irrelevant


At dinner, my dad finally asks Mike something that had been bugging him. My dad had convinced himself that last year, Mike's dad said "I was going to go visit a friend in the Arctic, but they told me I'm not allowed to go because my blood can't handle it." He asked me about it the other day, and now he asked Mike.
Dad: Mike, didn't your dad say he was gonna go to the Arctic, but his blood was too thin?
Mike: My dad never said that.
Dad: He said he was going to go somewhere cold, but he couldn't go.
Mike: He has a friend who lives in Norway, but I doubt he would go visit his friend during the winter.
Dad: Why not?
Me: Does anyone want to go to Norway in winter?
Mom: Jerry, it's cold!
Mike: It's Norway in winter. It's dark almost the whole time.
Dad: Let me give you an example. In the Northwest Territories, it's dark the whole day during winter.
Me: ...Ok.
Mike: ...Yes?
Me: That is a true statement.
Dad: What is?
Me: The Northwest Territories have dark days in winter. That is true, but irrelevant.
Mike: It's like that game, true false or irrelevant?

Watch This


After dinner, on the train going home...
Dad: *whispers* Val, watch this. Scott!
Me: Uh huh.
Dad: Scott, why didn't you ask the waiter if he wanted to open a Greek restaurant in Phoenix.
Me: Why would I want to ask him something that's not funny?
Dad: I thought it was funny!
Mike: Isn't the question why would you ask that?
Dad: Why not!
Mom: To be goofy Scott

Gothic


Me sitting in my room working on this post, mother comes in to talk to me.
Mom: Scott, have you ever seen NCIS?
Me: Never heard of it?
Mom: You would like it. There's a guy who's an old pro. There's another guy, and he's new, so they call him Proby. Then there's a girl. She works in the lab. She's Gothic. She wears skull necklaces.
Me: Do you mean Goth?
Mom: Huh? Oh! Hahaha! I guess that's what I mean. She wears those necklaces, and she has tattoos. She's good. I like the investigative shows.
Me: Ok.

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