Prequel Prelude

1:28:06 AM Mike: the correct word for your blogpost is "prelude" or "prologue"
1:28:22 AM Mike: not that abominable star wars movie word


I called my parents today to make sure everything was ok and to remind them to bring old pictures of me. We discussed shoes. Again. Notice how they learned some medical words and throw them around to seem like my dad has a good excuse.

Mom: Your dad has something to say.
Dad: Just tell him Val.
Mom: Jerry! It's your thing to say!
Dad: Fine.
Dad: I have no shoes. The only shoes I have are mesh sneakers. They are for hot weather. I have no shoes for chicago. I can't wear my sneakers in Chicago - I tried wearing them here and my feet were freezing. They were like ice! All the leather shoes I've tried don't fit. I can't come with no shoes! My feet will be freezing.
Me: Ok?
Dad: Scott! I can't wear my sneakers! There's a store having a grand opening near us. We're going at 7am so that we can try to find shoes. *sigh* I have the same problem as my mother. She had horrible feet.
Mom: Scott, there's this store from San Diego. We are going to the grand opening because we are premium members. We're gonna go early and try and find shoes.
Dad: They say to try on shoes at the end of the day when you've been walking. I can't do that. I've tried that. When I put the shoes on the next morning, my feet are killing me!
Me: So wait...your feet are bigger in the morning or the evening?
Dad: I have flexible arches! They can be different every day. Shoes can be good one time and bad another. The doctor has looked at my arches!
Mom: Scott, your dad has tried many different shoes. You know this.
Dad: Just like my mother!
Mom: He has some shoes that he can't even wear them for softball. But they're ok for a walk or the movies or whatever.
Me: Wouldn't you just get arch supports for when your arches are then lower?
Dad: I can't wear them. The doctor says I get plantar fascitis lumps. I tried them. I wore them for 2 weeks and I was in pain!
Mom: Your dad sometimes pronates when he walks and the arches make it worse.
Me: So, of course your feet will be in pain if you wear the same support for 2 weeks when your arches vary. I'm just saying, if your arches vary, wouldn't you have supports for different arch states, and use them accordingly?
Dad: Do you have $1000?!?!
Mom: Your dad says it doesn't work like that.
Me: Ok. I'm done trying to apply logic.
Dad: Scott, my feet are swollen! They're swollen! They're swollen right now!


Mom: Are we gonna have that party [where your friends hang out with us] again?
Me: Yes.
Dad: You gonna have the opera guy?
Me: Maybe. I don't know who's around yet.
Dad: How about the amazon guy - the one who went down the amazon?
Me: You'll see when you get here.
Dad: The indian guy?
Mom: Jerry! He said you'll see when you get there!


Me: So when do you get in?
Mom: The flight lands at 6:10pm
Dad: I'm eating dinner at the airport!
Mom: Jerry, we haven't decided that yet.
Dad: I can't eat too late! That's too late!
Mom: Well, maybe Mike can cook some of his delicious Italian food or something.
Me: Mike is happy to cook for you at any normal time.
Dad: What's normal!
Mom: Scott, you don't have to say what's normal
Dad: What's normal!
Me: 4 is not normal
Mom: Scott, people eat at different times. Restaurants are open then, so people can eat whenever they want. Today we had a show at 7. We got to the restaurant first at quarter to 5.
Dad: What's normal!
Me: Um, let's say 5-8.
Mom: That's fair.
Dad: I'm normal!!