Get out my space

Finally talked to the parents tonight after they were away for 4 days. Here are some highlights:

Mom: We were in Palm Springs for softball. There are lots of gay people there. They have money too. We see them walking down the street. Some couples were two men, or we saw two lesbians. They have expensive cars. Your dad saw a $300,000 Bentley.
Dad: It was 260!

Mom: Your dad's team did good. There's a Mexican on the team. His name is Ramón. He hit a few home runs. I told him he was 'muy cool' and he said 'gracias.'

Mom: Did you watch the Oscars?
Me: Yes
Mom: You know, your dad was mad when you mentioned how [your childhood friend] contacted you on myspace. He said 'why do people post personal information on the internet?!' But then Ellen said she had a thing on the myspace, so I said 'Jerry, Ellen has one, it's ok.'
Dad: I don't like it.
Mom: Well, I looked you up. I had to go through a bunch of [full name] to get to you! So I want to know...why didn't you tell us you were an athiest?
Me: Um, it didn't really come up? It wasn't a sudden realization.
Dad: Is it cause of the science?
Me: Well, that's part. It comes from being a young intelligent and rational person.
Mom: Well, we weren't religious, but we wanted you to learn Jewish history and culture, that's why we sent you Hebrew school.
Me: Right, I did. And I know it. And I do Jewish things. That doesn't mean I have to believe in God.
Mom: Ok, well we know it's up to you. I saw Mike was too!
Me: Um, yes. You figured out how to find him on there?
Mom: Yes. And how come the picture is you dancing with a black girl?
Me: Ugh, whatever. She's an MD-PhD too.

I think I crushed their souls.