Fuck off

Oh, the joys of the L on St. Patrick's Day...
Andrew & I got on at 3:30PM to go get bagels. There were tons and tons of drunk quasi-frat boys in green all over downtown. Our car reminded me of Later Gator. Here are the stories:

Guy 1: Hey guy, you're old. Are you a cop?
Old guy: No
Guy 1: Yes you are. What's the officer, problem? Hahaha!

Guy 2: Why the fuck is there a tootsie roll in my mouth? (he put it there a minute before)
Guy 1: Does it have ecstasy in it?
Guy 2: If it did, I'd be having a much better time!

Guy 1: Dude, let's go get pizza!
Guy 2: No way
Guy 1: When we get off we're going to get pizza!
Guy 2: How about we get you some pizza, with an extra slice of FUCK OFF!