(Cashew) Nuts

We spent the rest of the day (10am-10pm) at Steve&Shane's. Mike&I managed to avoid having to have one-on-one conversations with just them, preferring the family buffer. The following were the overheard topics of conversation between my dad and others: old stores in detroit. roads. hurricane shutter brand names. sale prices. old sports teams. new sports teams. which sports teams he likes.
My mother of course told more people about Pickle Ball. She also got a free haircut from Shane. She liked the haircut a lot. And she liked that it was free. Mostly she liked knowing how much money she saved based on what he usually charges.
The two children, Rachel age 3.9 and Ryan age 2.2 were also running around. Rachel liked giving out back scratches. She would offer one to my dad, and he would keep saying, I think truthfully, "She keeps scratching my favorite spot!"

Dad sat next to Mike at dinner.
Dad: I went to this PFLAG meeting. I didn't say much cause I don't care you guys are gay. The lady in charge thought I was ashamed of my son. I don't care, I just don't need to talk about it.
Mike: Was she a short gray-haired woman? Who might have been a lesbian, but really just had a gay son.
Dad: Yes! How did you know that?
Mike: All PFLAG chapters have that woman.
Dad: Really? Hey Steve! Have you ever been to a PFLAG meeting?
Steve: Yes, why?
Dad: Did it have a short lesbian with a gay son?
Mike: The short gray-haired woman, who could be a lesbian but really just has a gay son.
Steve: Yeah, we had those women.
Dad: Really?! Wow.

For the most part they were on good behavior, cause they were around other people. As soon as we're alone again on the train, the fun ensues.
Dad: So what time are we going to dinner tomorrow?
Me: I think we're meeting Mike's parents at 6.
Dad: Why so late?
Mike: 6 is not late.
Dad: Can't we meet them at 5?
Me: We can try for 5:30
Dad: Cause I'd like to be done eating early.
Me: I know, but we're going to Chinatown for lunch.
Dad: I never eat lunch
Me: I thought your Olympic trainer told you how to eat. You should know lots of little meals are better than one or two big meals.
Mom: I eat lunch!
Dad: If I eat lunch I can't eat dinner though.
Me: Right, and that's why you get hungry early.
Dad: No, I like to eat early.
Me: Huh? You should have lunch with us
Dad: Well, Mummy doesn't want to eat it anyway. She wants the breast meat.
Mom: No, I said I prefer the breast meat
Me: You said you wanted me to ask for breast meat, and I told you they don't speak English enough for that
Mom: Oh
Me: So, if we go, we can order your Sweet & Sour Chicken, but it won't be all white meat. Would you still eat it?
Mom: I don't need to eat something deep fried.
Me: I know, but I was hoping Dad would try it, cause it would be the best Chinese food you'd have
Dad: I can't eat that, I won't eat dinner
Me: What? You can't have one piece of chicken to taste at lunch time?
Dad: No, I'll get too full for dinner
Mom: Scott, he says he gets full
Dad: Let me give you an example. Today at about 1:00, I had one cashew. I almost didn't eat dinner.
Me: That's nuts. You're ridiculous
Dad: I know how my body works.
Me: I don't think your alleged Olympic Trainer told you to have 2 meals a day and one of them should be a cashew!
Dad: You just don't understand.

While Mom takes off her makeup and Dad walks around...
Dad: This poster, run lola run, what's that about?
Mike: It's a movie
Dad: What's it about?
Mike: A woman who runs cause she has to get money to her boyfriend before he gets killed for not having the money.
Dad: Oh, ok.

Btw, for everyone who's keeping track...
Days he's been here: 3.
Number of times a shirt has been changed: At least 5
Number of pairs of socks that have been sweated through - dried - worn again: Probably 8
Times he's showered/bathed/washed his face/done anything other than brush his teeth or shave: 0