Breakfast with a side of Crazy

Dad: My air mattress was cold last night.
Me: Ok
Dad: Can I make it warmer?
Me: Um, it's a mattress
Dad: No, but like I want it to be warm?
Me: Turn the heater on next to it.
Dad: We can do that?
Me: It's a space heater
Dad: Ok, cause I don't want the mattress to be cold.
Me: Right, you said that.

Dad: So if Mike moved up here and brought his car, where would you park it?
Me: We'll figure that out then.
Dad: No, but how much would it cost to park?
Me: Um, depends on where we get a spot.
Dad: What would it cost you? $100 /month?
Me: More like at least 300 probably.
Dad: That's ridiculous!

My dad wanted to use the computer this morning to check his sports updates. "They only let Powell in for 2 minutes? What were they thinking? Why'd they play him?" Then he needed help with the trackball mouse and non-AOL browser. "Can i go to seniorsoftball.com?" "Can i go to ncssa.info?" "How do i check my email?"

My mother relayed her own computer story: "I tried to print something and it was too red. So I called Dell. They said to try a few things. They didn't work. She told me I need to print things every week or the cartridge goes bad. I got a new cartridge. It works fine. Now I write down the date every time I print. I make sure I just print a page or something every week."

–Your dad and I want to talk to you two together
This morning?
–Yeah.
Really? Don't you need to get ready?
–We want to talk to you.
10 min later...
–So, we're going to give you some money like we talked about, in January.
Right, I know. Thank you.
–You know, for your place.
Right, that was established.
–Ok, cause we know you're not going to squander it, you're going to put it towards the home.
–Right. we're not. thank you.
Ok. that was all. so we'll give you the money.
–Yes, thank you.

–Do you use olive oil for everything? I like it cause it has the good fats!
Well, or vegetable oil.
–Oh, cause I use olive oil for a stir fry.
You should try an oil that's not olive oil
Dad: Mike, my eggs are delicious.
Mom: Did you use olive oil for his eggs?
Mike: Sure. (He browned the onions in butter, then added eggs)