I <3 Overheard Gym Conversations

Three dirty frat boys at the gym today, all overheard and slightly embellished from memory.

DFB1: Dude, I'm gonna work out my arms so much.
DFB2: Yeah
DFB1: You know what would be cool? If I was a quadriped
DFB3: Awesome
DFB1: Yeah, I want my arms to be as big as my legs, then I could walk on them.
DFB2: That would be cool!

5 minutes later...

DFB2: *lifts up shirt* I have no chest hair.
DFB3: Maybe I have one
DFB1: I think between the 3 of us, we have way less than [some other guy]
DFB2: Ha! Yeah bro.

5 minutes later...

DFB2: So you made out with her?
DFB1: Dude, she was down on her knees, with her hands out like she was receiving communion.

After all of this I said to Andrew... "I think they're about to compare penises."