That's Hot

Paris missed her own club opening.

Things to do before the inauguration

A forward from Janiece...

Things to do before the Inauguration

1. Get that abortion you've always wanted.
2. Drink a nice clean glass of water.
3. Cash your Social Security check.
4. See a doctor of your own choosing.
5. Spend quality time with your draft-age child.
6. Visit Syria, or any foreign country for that matter.
7. Get that gas mask you've been putting off buying.
8. Hoard gasoline.
10. Borrow books from library before they're banned - Constitutional law books, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, Tropic of Cancer, etc.
11. If you have an idea for an art piece involving a crucifix - do it now.
12. Come out - then go back in - HURRY!
13. Jam in all the Alzheimer's stem cell research you can.
14. Stay out late before the curfews start.
15. Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his “accident”.
16. Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
17. Use the phrase – “you can't do that - this is America.”
18. If you're white, marry a black person; if you're black, marry a white person.
19. Take a walk in Yosemite, without being hit by a snowmobile or a base-jumper.
20. Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
21. Start your school day without a prayer.
22. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.
23. Learn French.
24. Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
25. Take a factory tour anywhere in the US.
26. Try to take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
27. Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.
28. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
29. Visit Alaska before “The Big Spill”.
30. Visit Massachusetts while it is still a state.

She put you outside on the front porch

and she gave you a hula hoop.

Browse around - it comes with demonstrations and some engrish here and there, such as "4. Shank workout-- Use small size. High speed keeps hoop stay."

Best Commercial Ever

Gotta love Ikea.

Get your very own Hispanic Roots!

I discovered you can buy them today...at Jewel.

That's per pound of course. But for only a few dollars you can check an H/L on every form from now on.

Fo Shizzle

This is an actual email I just got from the M2 Social Chair...

Whazzup clazzass
Emm dee equals pass
The end of the semester
Yea we gotta throw a bash

Put away that stash
Of books y'all flash
In Edezzelstone
Cause we got a party to crash

CAD, CHF
Angina of the chest
Coagulative necorsis
IHD of the left

Now if you get pissy
Drop the diuretics missy
Inhibiting ACEs
Like my name was Agassi

Forget about pathizzle
Pharmizzle and Clinizzle
Infizzection and Immunity
G. lamblia fo shizzle

Done with cardiac arrhythmics
Pharm may have been cataclysmic
We got Sweet Dreams now though
Cause we're like the Eurythmics

Now don't change that dizzle
At 10 pizzle mizzle
Avons un fete a Le Passage
Four dolla drinks to drizzle

Who down with UIC
Yea you know me
Show that I to the Dizzo
And you get in for free

Target the M2 scene
Like Amantadine
Spleen so megaly and phat
It makes Santa lean

Endotoxin and digoxin
Vaccines for smallpox an'
Give em some epineph
So everybody gets rocksin!

See ya there!
MC GKG (Da G Spot)

Le Passage
Oak & State
Bring Your ID
$4 drinks - top shelf
10 PM
(you can thank the one hr of sleep for the rapping)

Who really won?

Read this.

There are so many things wrong with this

At the Billboard Music Awards tonight...

"50 Cent won a new award, ringtone of the year, for 'In Da Club'."

The Jacket

Meanwhile, Bush wore his "members of the coalition only" jacket

- The Daily Show tonight. :)

The only Grammy nominations worth knowing

There are Jews in *click click click* Uganda? WTF is best package?



Field 1 - Pop

Category 5 -  Best Female Pop Vocal Performance

(For a solo vocal performance.  Singles or Tracks only.)

• Oceania

     Björk

     Track from: Medulla

     [Elektra/Atlantic]



Field 1 - Pop

Category 7 -  Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal

(For established duos or groups, with vocals.  Singles or Tracks only.)

• My Immortal

     Evanescence

     Track from: Fallen

     [Wind-up Records, LLC]



Field 5 - Alternative

Category 22 -  Best Alternative Music Album

(Vocal or Instrumental.)

• Medulla

     Björk

     [Elektra/Atlantic]



Field 6 - R&B

Category 25 -  Best R&B Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals

(For duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals.  Singles or Tracks only.)

• Lose Your Breath

     Destiny's Child

     [Columbia Records]



Field 16 - World Music

Category 71 -  Best Traditional World Music Album

(Vocal or Instrumental.)

• Abayudaya - Music From The Jewish People Of Uganda

     Various Artists

     Jeffrey A. Summit, producer

     [Smithsonian Folkways Recordings]



Field 20 - Comedy

Category 77 -  Best Comedy Album

(For comedy recordings, spoken or musical)

• The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Presents...America: A Citizen's Guide To Democracy Inaction

     Jon Stewart And The Cast Of The Daily Show

     [Time Warner Audiobooks]

• The Funny Thing Is...

     Ellen DeGeneres

     [Simon & Schuster Audio]

• The O'Franken Factor Factor - The Very Best Of The O'Franken Factor

     Al Franken

     [Artemis Records]



Field 24 - Package

Category 85 -  Best Recording Package

• Educated Guess

     Ani DiFranco & Brian Grunert, art directors (Ani DiFranco)

     [Righteous Babe Records]

Festival Of Lights

"Festival of light...festival of lights! Oh, crap! I forgot Hanukkah...that's on the 7th. How could I forget the holiday that starts on a different day every year and commemorates a lamp not going out?"

- Samantha Bee tonight in "Mark Your Calendar"

Vermilion

Things I ate tonight at the Vermilion art gallery / one-year anniversary celebration:

2 glasses of Veuve Clicquot Champagne (one white, one rose)
Tamarind Shrimp
Winter Ceviche on Naan (featuring crab and mango, among other things)
Spicy Lentils served on endive lettuce
Paneer & Spinach Empanada with Mango-Coconut-Mustard sauce
Plantain Croquet with Date-Pomegranate dipping sauce
Saffron-Cardamom Mousse on a cucumber, topped with a pomegranate seed
Mint-Cilantro Gazpacho shot
Red grape covered in cream cheese and rolled in spicy cashews
Kahlua Flan

Oh yeah...there was art too. And it was all free! :)

Can it get any gayer?

A Clay Aiken Christmas

"Can I ask you a question?"

"I haven't left my house in like 4 days. I know this is a weird question, but do I smell?"
"not really"
"ok good. sorry, i know it's strange, but I've just been sitting at home studying and I'm not sure if I smell"
*sniffs again* "no, i really don't think i smell anything bad."

This was a conversation I had thursday with the 6'5" indian guy who usually sits alone and talks to no one. He sat in front of me for our anatomy review and asked this before it started.

Check, please!

Featuring Barack Obama
I'm not joking!